Reassurance in the Dark
by Llwydyn
Summary: Gamora's nightmares trigger her own doubts about the danger she poses by being part of the team. Peter is there to remind her that the benefits outweigh the risks. Hints of Starmora. Rated T for light language, mild gore, mentions of parent death.


**This fic is a belated birthday gift for Marvel-Tolkien Fangirl, who is amazing! :-D**

 **A/N** : If you are following me for AoS fanfic (and specifically After You Change), please be reassured that I am, in fact, working on it again after a bit of a hiatus. Nagging messages are always extremely welcome, if you'd like to hurry me along. :) GotG is not my primary fandom, so please forgive any imperfections in characterization! Also, I've taken liberties with the details of Gamora's back story, since we don't know much about her or the Zehoberi.

* * *

Her village was burning.

The images flickered before her eyes, fading into each other one by one: the deceptively soothing flames, like the ones in the fireplace at home, only licking at the dark night sky; the heap of ash and glowing coals where her home used to be; the terrified faces of the neighbor children as they were dragged off; the cruel faces of Thanos' henchmen; and mud, mud everywhere, formed of blood mixed with the dirt his forces had churned up as they swept through the village.

The faces flashed before her: family, neighbors, friends, who had once been dear to her, but now whose names she couldn't even remember, reduced as the Zehoberi had been to these ghostly visages that haunted her dreams. She had seen them enough times now to recognize that this was, in fact, a dream - that the pounding of her heart was in response to her mind's terror and not to a real threat.

As it had countless times before, the scene faded to that semicircle of her people, bound hand and foot, facing down the firing squad of Thanos' Chitauri. Gamora tensed up, waiting for the order from the monster beside her, waiting to watch her parents die before her eyes all over again.

But then something began happening. As she watched, the faces of the villagers before her began to distort, shifting into other faces - faces she knew. She recognized her first target, a Kree woman who had crossed Thanos. And then more, the faces of men and women - and even children - she had killed in the service of the monster.

 _I_ was _the monster._

The blood began pounding in her ears, as her awareness that this was only a dream slipped away.

And then the faces shifted again, the bodies too, until before her stood four people she knew well - Quill. Drax. Rocket. Groot. And Thanos raised his hand to give the signal for the executioners to fire.

"No! No!" She heard the words ripping from her throat unbidden, as Thanos sneered down at her, finding twisted pleasure in her horror.

Gamora flew at him, but one of his henchmen grabbed her arm firmly, restraining her. She whirled on the Chitauri in a frenzy, furious, ready to fight her way free.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Gamora!"

The scene around her faded abruptly, and Gamora came to her senses, realizing she was sitting upright in bed, pressing the blade she usually kept stashed under her pillow to Peter's jugular. With a strangled gasp, she dropped the knife, barely hearing it clatter to the floor, and lowered her arm to her side.

"Quill!" she exploded. "You should know better than to come in here." She wasn't sure whether she was exploding because of the dream or because of its aftermath, but either way, it was out of fear for his safety.

Peter, sitting beside her on the bed, let out a slow breath, visibly relaxing now that the blade was no longer against his neck. "Yeah, I might think twice next time," he agreed, his eyes wide.

Gamora narrowed her eyes at him. "Why did you even come in?"

"I heard you were having a nightmare," he explained cautiously, as though at the mention of it, she might produce another blade from somewhere.

Gamora broke eye contact, looking away, as the dream came crashing back in on her. In a way, she was glad that Peter had interrupted before it had had a chance to go any further. "Thank you," she said, her voice subdued.

"It sounded pretty bad."

Gamora stiffened. "It was." The vision of her team, being held at gunpoint by Thanos' army of Chitauri, ready to be slaughtered in front of her, hollowed out a despairing pit in her stomach.

The worst part, she realized, is that it was only a single misstep away from becoming a reality. If Thanos ever were to capture them, she was sure his sadistic mind would see fit to punish her with that very scenario - or perhaps something even worse.

She realized she was beginning to tremble, and she calmed herself, forcing her body back under her control. Quill was watching her, open concern in his face.

"What is it?"

Her muscles tightened even further, if that were possible, and she took a slow, deep breath before responding. "Maybe I shouldn't be part of this team."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he was about to open his mouth in protest when she plowed on.

"I am a tremendous liability. Thanos is doubtless searching the galaxy for me, and if he ever were to find me, I would endanger the entire team. If you thought Ronan was a formidable opponent..." Her voice trailed off, and she couldn't even finish, visions from her dreams and from her own training under Thanos flickering before her eyes once more.

Beside her, Peter was nothing short of baffled. "After what happened with Ronan, it isn't like you're the only one on Thanos' hit list," he reminded her. "We all are now."

But Gamora was staring straight ahead unseeingly, one hand gripping the covers on the bed.

Peter touched her arm. "Hey. We need you on this team."

She lifted her eyes, plagued with guilt and self-doubt, to meet his.

"Look, if you weren't here, none of us would be. Do you think we would have been able to defeat Ronan and Nebula without you?"

She shook her head slowly.

"Who's the one who saves our asses when Drax picks a fight with the wrong guy, huh? I mean, really, Gamora, how long do you think I could keep these guys alive without you here?"

Slowly, her face softened into a small smile. "You'd probably be the first one to go," she agreed, a wicked gleam flickering into her eyes.

"That's what I'm saying. So, come on now." Peter's voice grew softer, his eyes locked on hers. "Are you a burden on this team, or are you one of its most important members?"

Her eyes traveled around his face, taking in the sincerity in his expression. "Thank you, Peter," she said softly.

He held her gaze steadily for a moment before responding, and when he spoke, there was an undercurrent of something else in his voice. "I mean it. I don't know what I'd do without you here."

Gamora held his gaze for a few beats longer and then broke eye contact, looking away, anywhere. That stupid look in his eyes was threatening to make her feel and say things she really shouldn't. "You'd be the first one to get yourself killed, remember?"

Quill smiled, the corners of his mouth twitching upward wryly, almost in smile of himself. "That's right," he confirmed, then stood up. "So I, for one, am glad you _are_ here. The galaxy needs you."

Gamora looked up at him for a moment, her expression carefully composed. "I'm glad I'm here, too," she said quietly, allowing her defenses to come down just for a moment. There. That was all he was going to get. And it was true.

But Peter grinned irrepressibly, taking it as the small victory it was. "Sleep well, Gamora."

"You too, Peter."

She expected to have to fight down the images from her dreams as she allowed herself to drift back to sleep. Instead, she found herself thinking more about Peter's words than anything else.

 _"I don't know what I'd do without you here."_

Though she wouldn't admit it to his face - at least not yet - she would say the same thing about him.


End file.
